Not all it's cracked up to be.....
After a couple of weeks of not working I have begun to see the negatives to being unemployed. While there are plenty of advantages, they sometimes come at a price. For instance, I have discovered that it is pretty expensive to be unemployed. There is a lot of free time to be filled, and it costs money to occupy that time in ways that keep my interest. Golf, drinking, porno sites, gambling, video games....all those things cost $$ and unemployment checks only go so far. On top of that, I have learned that strip clubs don't offer mid-week or frequent visitor discounts!.....I may have to limit myself to going 3 times a week! I have a hard time limiting myself, so I'm not doing a very good job of giving up my vices. I have tried to limit myself to drinking only 4 nights a week because more than that would be getting excessive. Besides, if I go out every night I can't wake up in time the see The View every morning.....I might miss some good makeover tips if I don't catch a show. If this keeps up I may have to start looking for a job......
posted by Number at 12:23 AM [edit]
Start the gravy train rolling.....
I have just completed my first week of unemployment, and I just have to say that I highly recommend it. The whole "getting 8 hours of sleep a night" thing has been a revelation. Now I don't have to always worry about nodding off while driving because sleep deprivation....I only have to worry about that happening due to excessive consumption of alcohol. The lifestyle is already great and will only get better once the unemployment checks start coming in.....The Man will be slavin' for me for a change. And my former employer will still be paying me too...finally, the system is working for me! The best part is that there is no longer a stigma to being unemployed.....you're not considered a loser for being out of work any more. So instead of being ridiculed, I get sympathy....."you got laid off?...that's been happening to a lot of people I know....it's really tough out there....let me pick up the check". Do you see how that works?......I haven't had to pay for a meal or drinks in 2 weeks!.... I've even been trying to too! I try to explain that since I'm still being paid AND getting unemployment, I'm actually making more that when I had a job. My protests have fallen on deaf ears because everybody must think I'm putting up a brave front or something, or that I'm ashamed to be out of work......anybody who really knows me should know better. In the meantime, I will just go with the flow.....if someone insists on getting the check, more power to them. Will see how that plays out 6 months from now if I'm still not working......
posted by Number at 5:44 PM [edit] 
